A new media type

The Onion
Photo courtesy The Onion
Photo courtesy The Onion

WASHINGTON—Expressing their growing frustration with the “unacceptable” wait experienced while looking from one electronic device to another, millions of Americans nationwide reportedly demanded a new form of media Wednesday to bridge the entertainment gap they endure while turning their heads from their laptops to their cell phones.

According to reports from across the country, citizens are loudly calling for a device or program capable of keeping them captivated as they move their eyes from a computer screen to a smartphone screen, arguing that a new source of video and audio stimulation is vital to alleviating the excruciating boredom that currently accompanies this prolonged transition.

“Whenever I switch from my laptop to my iPhone, I hate how there’s never anything good for me to look at in between,” said 28-year-old Cincinnati resident Danielle Camp, echoing the sentiment of millions of people across the country who conveyed their dissatisfaction with the current lack of images and sounds capable of holding their attention during this period.

“It takes forever for me to go from checking my Facebook notifications on my computer to a text message on my phone—what am I supposed to do during that time? Do you really expect me to just stare at a bunch of empty space?”

Read the full report at The Onion …